he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize