i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
