He uses pillows to masturbate.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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