Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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