I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
