just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
