Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
