Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
