i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
