Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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