Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
