yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
