what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I can't turn off my feet"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
