I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
