I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think your dad took our porno
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
