Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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