You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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