Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
