We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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