she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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