I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
