it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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