He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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