We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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