god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
