I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
