my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize