you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
