and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
