i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize