his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
