another moral hangover. fuck.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
