and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
