She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
