Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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