I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
