I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
