i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think my moral compass just broke
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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