she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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