If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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