I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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