This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
