My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
