Rock
Scissors
Fuck
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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