upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
did i just pee glitter
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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