that's an acceptable place to lick
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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