please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
