I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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