I like to think it a success when the cops are called
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
