You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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