Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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