This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
