I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
