so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
