btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize