I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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