If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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