How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
