I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
