sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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