bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Watching her eat just hurts me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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