Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
