who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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