I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
