i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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