hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
false alarm. still invincible.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize