i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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