so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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