She's JV to your varsity
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
