Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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