i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize