You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
