Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize