I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
