yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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