so explain again why im purple
no
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
