I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
