So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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